The thought expressed by the giant, Max, is that unusally tall people have short life spans. In the case of Max it was an enlarged heart; there was nothing he could do.
A hotly disputed study revealed that gay men without HIV have an average lifespan of 43 years. Argue if you will, but the obituaries are there for your to review. Gay men die young. You don't see them in rest homes.
At the age of 54, my mind races back over the past eleven years. I wonder, What if I had died at age 43? What would I have missed?
I would have missed my daughter's wedding, the birth of her four children and the privilege of interacting and influencing their lives.
I would have died in 1996. The last major event in my life would have been the school field trip I took with my son to Chicago. It would have been his last memory of me.
I would have missed his graduation from high school and cosmotology school. I would not have been there when he learned to drive, bought his first car, nor been with him when he drove his new Chevy from the dealership.
I would not have been there when he ordered his first cell phone. I would have missed eleven of his birthdays, a few trips together to Pennsylvania, and more than a few trips to restaurants.
I would have missed his groans every time I cut my hair with a Flowbee.
I would have missed eleven years of providing for my wife and family. I would have missed ten and half years of my mother's life. I would have missed eleven July 4th wedding anniversaries.
Look around you. Consider the ages of your friends. How many homosexual men do you know who are my age? Maybe they just didn't come out of the closet. But those who did, how many are there?
At the age of 24 you have nineteen more years to live. From your perspective, that's a long time. But consider that many of those nineteen years may be spent in poor health. All the arguments in the world against Dr. Cameron and his research won't cure you.
Same gender desires are real; as real as drug addictions. I do not hate you or any in the gay community simply because you have urges different from mine.
When you were young you knew there was something different. Others noticed too. The playground was a place to avoid. You couldn't compete. You wondered about your feelings. You were not a bad person simply because the genetic lottery offered you a life different from many others. You are not a bad person now. You never will be.
What you are is in danger of serious health risks. It's not a matter of hate, discrimination or homophobia. It's a matter of fact.
Today is tomorrow's yesterday. What you become tomorrow is determined by the choices you make in the next 24 hours; the next few days. If you choose to remain active in the gay lifestyle you almost certainly will succomb to serious health problems. You are not the exception.
Counseling is an option. While other gays will advise you against it, they won't offer to pay your medical bills nor will they help with your financial needs when you are unable to work. Those who survive may attend your funeral; or they may not.
Get alone. Shut out the noise of the gay community. Think for yourself; maybe a long drive, over a Coke in a restaurant (notice I said "Coke") or sequester yourself in your bedroom. Ask yourself why gays hate me. Is it because I am a bigoted homophobe? Or is it because they don't care to be confronted by the truth.
I am not so crass as to pretend your urges are not real, that you are under the influence of the devil or that you need to be cured. I only want you to be there for your mother when your father dies; for you to make it to the rest home.
There is, on this site, a page dedicated to exit counseling. If you choose to call them — no one needs to know but you. You don't have to tell Mom or Dad, nor your friends who will most certainly discouage you.
It's your decision. The longer you wait, the greater the risk.
